It’s no secret I’m an open book about my life. For whatever reason, I’ve never had a problem sharing what’s on my mind. Even when it’s uncomfortable, awkward, or totally over the line. Sorry, Donetta!
There is something rewarding about being real. Maybe it’s because our world is filled with so many fake people or so much fake news, or perhaps writing my deepest and darkest secrets is a form of personal therapy. Regardless, I want to dive into my journey toward wellness. Perhaps it will help someone reading this.
There’s something evil lurking below!
At first glance, you might assume my life is completely awesome. Why wouldn’t you?? We travel full-time while living in hotels. Donetta and I have our own businesses that allow us a flexible lifestyle. And all those sexy photos on social media are an indication that life is always good. Based on the surface view, it’s easy to think my life is all shits and giggles.
What people don’t see are the monsters that almost took my life.
There are horrific demons I battled as a child like verbal and sexual abuse, bullying, and addictions. There are the catastrophic failures in business and a personal bankruptcy haunting my past. I’ve had to overcome obesity and severe depression, as well as battle PTSD and anxiety. Then there were the suicidal thoughts that almost became action.
To say there have been some very horrible and dark times is an understatement.
But my story isn’t unique though. Millions of people battle their own demons or monsters daily and the reality is there are plenty of others fighting with what’s below the surface. I feel for them because it can be a very difficult struggle.
While overcoming adversity isn’t easy, the good news is you can certainly do it!
My journey toward wellness wasn’t easy.
I’m not inviting you to an exclusive pity party at Casa Dalman. I abhor the idea of playing the victim or any sense of entitlement. It doesn’t do any good for our mental wellness to dwell on the shitty hand we’ve been dealt. There comes a time to get out of our head and get over it.
However, it is very important to seek healing through professional counseling, journaling, meditation, hiking, or other wellness pursuits that are good for your soul. And yes, I’ve done them all. 😉
It started with a painful process.
In order to begin my wellness journey, I had to take a hard look at my life. It required asking myself difficult questions and receiving brutally honest feedback from people I love. While these ass-kicking moments were painful at times (you know, truth hurts) it was extremely beneficial in the end. Pun intended.
By asking the hard questions first, it allows you learn more about yourself.
Understanding who we really are and why certain things may have happened in our lives is a part of the healing process. Self discovery allows us to bring to light the horrible creatures trying to destroy our lives and finally kill them without mercy. We are also able to see unhealthy patterns that are keeping us from living a great life.
This isn’t going to be a fun experience but it’s critical before moving to the next stage.
Making big decisions to change my life.
Once I had an understanding of who I was and where I wanted to be physically and mentally, the focus became making the tough decisions that would allow me to change my life going forward. Here’s the deal.
Knowing that you’re all screwed up and dysfunctional is part of the battle. The other part is actually doing something about it.
Most people fail to do what is necessary to achieve true happiness. Anyone can talk the talk but you’ve got to walk the walk. This is when you have to make your own big decisions that make a difference.
How did it look on my journey toward wellness? Glad you asked!
- Letting go of unhealthy emotions like extreme anger, overwhelming sadness, and an obsessive fear of death.
- Changing my eating habits by switching to the keto lifestyle over the standard American obesity pyramid.
- Reducing my dependence on alcohol and drowning my pain every night.
- Walking and lifting weights instead of binge watching TV or indulging in social media.
- Implementing CBD and cannabis into my daily regimen to combat the PTSD, anxiety, and chronic pain.
- Blowing up my business and starting over to do what I love to do.
- Saying goodbye to toxic relationships and people causing me misery.
It wasn’t easy but there are no regrets. These big changes saved my life and helped me be a happier person. And even though there’s still work to be done, I’m in a way better place physically and mentally. The same can be true for you as well.
The darkness becomes the light.
When you start the morning by looking at a pistol and wondering if today is the day you leave the earth, it’s very dark and surreal. Unfortunately the challenges we encounter can be very detrimental and damning. It can suck the life from you, but remember this ….
Do not give up.
The absolute worst thing you can tell yourself or start to believe is your life does not matter. The second worst thing to believe is you can’t escape the shit show you call your life.
You absolutely matter to the world and there are people who love you, even if you haven’t met them yet. And you can definitely break free from the house of pain. Please read this all again.
If you fight hard enough and continue to believe, you will win. There will come the day when you have killed those demons lurking beneath the surface. There will be the moment the radiant light will fall upon your beautiful face and you will smile. And you will laugh in the face of adversity. I promise you that.
Laughing in the face of adversity.
There are circumstances in my life I’d never wish upon anyone else, but despite them, I’ve learned to embrace the suck and overcome the adversities. Sometimes I’m even thankful for them. And no, I’m not stoned right now. 😀
I believe you’re capable of developing the mental strength and intestinal fortitude to laugh at the challenges in front of you. I also believe you can achieve the happier and healthier life you deserve.
The question is do you want it?
And remember this, together we #RemainStrong!